Insult Board: “Smarmy-ass-fuck-face” Edition

A new, hopefully recurring (though not too often) series in which I analyze the various insults that are thrown at me on the Internet.

This morning, I wrote a tweet from the @DCist account in a very clumsy way. “Want to take a dip in the Potomac? No, us neither. But maybe in 2032…” it read, along with a link to this story about the water quality in the Potomac River. Almost immediately, I realized the klutzy wording, deleted the errant tweet, and composed a new one:

Want to take a dip in the Potomac? No, neither do we. But maybe in 2032... bit.ly/LyUs9K

—
DCist (@dcist) June 26, 2012

But not everyone caught the update, particularly one notoriously cranky DCist addict.

"us neither"? RT @dcist: Want to take a dip in the Potomac? No, us neither. But maybe in 2032... bit.ly/LyUs9K

—
say 'Eye Em Gōph' (@IMGoph) June 26, 2012

To which I replied:

@IMGoph That's why I rewrote the tweet, smartass.

—
Benjamin R. Freed (@brfreed) June 26, 2012

Then, this happened:

@brfreed a replacement hadn't shown up in my feed yet, smarmy-ass-fuck-face.

—
say 'Eye Em Gōph' (@IMGoph) June 26, 2012

So there you have it: I am a “smarmy-ass-fuck-face.” But as long as we’re complaining about grammar, the only part of that phrase that should be hyphenated is the compound modifier “smarmy-ass.”

Also, “fuckface” is typically written as one word.